« They're just not that into you | Main | President Obama knows: It’s all about me »

February 16, 2009

You know your job’s in jeopardy when . . .

We were just trying to cheer up our friend when things go a little out of control. Our friend’s company is in serious trouble, with depressing rumors swirling about customers defecting, massive layoffs, Chapter 11, etc. So we took this friend out to a bar, and ordered a drink, and then another, and maybe one after that. (My memory gets a little fuzzy at that point.)

And that’s when it happened: Someone said, “You know your job’s in trouble when . . .” and, once we got started, we just couldn’t stop:

You know your job’s in jeopardy when . . .

• Your boss wears sunglasses to avoid making eye contact.

• You get a new assigned parking space—in a different company’s lot.

• You’re told you don’t have to the weekly staff meeting because “nothing we’re discussing applies to you.”

• Security installs a lock on the restroom door and doesn’t give you a key.

• You come into work and discover yellow Crime Scene tape around your cubicle.

• You stop receiving e-mails. And when you try to send a test e-mail to yourself, you get an automatic response, “No longer at this company.”

• Your HR rep offers to help you update your resume “just in case.”

• When you finish your work at 2 p.m. on Monday, your manager suggests you take the rest of the week off.

• Your department head holds a meeting to raise morale. When he finishes talking about the company’s plans, he says, “I want everyone who’s on board—who’s going to work with us to make this company a success—to stand up.” You start to rise and he says, “You can stay seated.”

Funny? As our friend pointed out, only when it’s not happening to you.

(Also not funny: my headache the next day. Guess I deserve it. Ouch.)

Posted by Alison Davis at February 16, 2009 01:06 PM