« The trouble with feedback: A true story | Main | Can a CEO be too visible? »
January 03, 2005
A matter of manners
I find insights about communication everywhere—even when reading fiction.
My latest epiphany came when I was reading Alexander McCall Smith’s latest novel, The Sunday Philosophy Club. (More on Smith later in this web log.) The novel is set in Edinburgh, Scotland, and features as its main character a woman named Isabel Dalhousie, who edits a philosophy journal.
Isabel is, naturally, a philosopher, who thinks deeply about many issues. Here are her musings about manners inspired by the actions of another character named Toby.
Toby “had bad manners; not on the surface, where he thought, quite wrongly, that it counted, but underneath, in this attitude to others. Good manners depended on paying moral attention to others; it required one to treat them with complete moral seriousness, to understand their feelings and their needs. Some people, the selfish, had no inclination to do this, and it always showed. They were impatient with those whom they thought did not count: the old, the inarticulate, the disadvantaged. The person with good manners, however, would always listen to such people and treat them with respect.” (p. 141)
There are a lot of reasons why communication fails in organizations, but the underlying cause is often a lack of respect or, as Isabel puts it, a dearth of manners. This can take many forms, such as: Sending an important communication only via e-mail, despite the fact that a significant percentage of employees don’t have electronic access. Assuming that everyone (even in a global, diverse organization) speaks and reads English, and not providing translations. (Leaders) responding to employee questions as if the questions are “dumb” or annoying. Expecting managers to be advocates of a new strategy or initiative without giving them the time and support they need to understand it.
I could go on, but you get the idea: If we don’t respect the people we’re communicating with, why should they bother to pay attention?
(For those of you unfamiliar with Alexander McCall Smith, I highly recommend you start with The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency, which is set in Botswana and features a very unusual and appealing detective, Precious Ramotswe. This book is the first of a series of five mystery novels that are quite wonderful.)
Posted by Alison Davis at January 3, 2005 05:06 PM